Random Thoughts (again :P)

Hi guys! Er, sorry about that huge gap. November has been just so hectic. I mean, between studying for exams, reading fanfictions and sleeping, I’ve had to give up NaNowriMo. This always happens with me. I start a story and just when I’, starting to like what I have written, something or the other happens and I have to stop writing ._.

Also, until mid November, I was actually watching Criminal Minds. But then, I finished season 7. I’m really looking forward to season 8, which I hope is full of better criminals and crimes. But until the whole of season 8 comes out, I cannot watch it. Otherwise, I’d just hyperventilate from the release of one episode to the other. It happened to me in season 4 of Glee. Until, you know, Klaine broke up. Then I stopped watching it. But I restarted because they brought Sebastian back! I know Sebastian’s gorgeousness isn’t enough to make up for Klaine’s loss, but Sebastian’s gorgeousness along with his asshole-ness just might be enough ;)

Recently, I talked to this friend of mine (R) about my dating life (actually, the absence of it). And when I was moaning and whining about it to her, I realized the main problem. My life is stagnant. My social circles are not expanding. At all. If I don’t meet new people, how do I hope to get a date? But I’m just so painfully shy that one of my friends (N) mistook it for arrogance and snobbishness at the beginning of our acquaintance. R suggested that I go out clubbing and join poetry groups and stuff, but I’m too shy for poetry groups and I’m not into clubbing at all. So, what do you guys think I should do to get into the dating scene?

Anyway, I don’t have much to say right now because I’m only wandering back and forth from sleep to study and I haven’t witnessed anything interesting in a few days (except for my roommate watching Breaking Dawn part 2 twice- I don’t know how she could even stand it once but she’s a Twlight fan ._.), so I’ll sign off with these beautiful lines by Shakespeare that I came across in a fanfiction. Here it goes-

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

'The End'- Swati

Well. We're verrrrrrry sorry that we are a new blog and we have been absolutely inactive. But, we were both a little caught up with some personal matters of our own. Sorrry! To make up, here's a little poem I wrote recently. It's a sad one. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think in the comments!

I look at him with tear-filled eyes,

Shake my head and disagree.

This IS over,

I repeat to him and me.

Don’t do this, don’t stand here,

Just please leave, like you did, again.

Don’t give me anymore reasons,

Don’t keep making excuses, anymore.

This time, I decide,

And I decided that this is done.

I don’t want to let you fight

For another chance, that you might.

I don’t want you to be around,

To stick and to talk.

You talk about the old times,

Old memories, past kisses,

And the left behind.

I stand and listen,

Because, I remembered a different time.

I remembered waiting-

And lot of crying.

I remembered sitting there,

Telling my friends, weeping,

About what happened.

I remember everything,

Just I remember it different.

This IS the end,

I can’t keep doing this anymore,

This conversation, this argument-

Us, I can’t do it anymore, again.

I cannot sit there,

Thinking it’s all my wrong, again.

This is the end.

November 14, 2012

NaNoWriMo

So, it’s November. I’m actually quite sad about  it being November because I love October. October is the month where the temperature is just right. There’s no sun. A light breeze flows throughout the month. I could livein this weather forever. However, what would make it even better would be maple trees shedding red, yellow and mustard leaves which the wind would carry to me. But yeah. I live in India. We don't have maple trees. We don’t have autumn -.-

Anyway, it’s a new month. But November is not an ordinary month. It’s a month for the preparation of my exams, which are in December, by the way. It’s also the month for NaNoWriMo. I don’t know how many of you would know about it, but for all the dunderheads who don’t know about it, the full form of NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. Er, I don’t know which country’s national novel writing month it is, but people from all over the world participate in NaNoWriMo. And as you guessed it, November is the month to write a novel.

It’s actually a bad time for me to start a novel because I have three and a half seasons of Criminal Minds to go through. Also, my exams are coming up and I need to study. But it’s my last year as a literature student. And I don’t have a novel to my name. How embarrassing is that? So, I decided that no matter how horrible it turns out, I WILL write a novel. I’m already four thousand words into it. And because I’m writing thousand words per day (which is nothing short of a Herculean task), I hope to achieve thirty thousand words by the end of the month. If I succeed, this will be the longest thing I would have ever written.

Honestly, I don’t like writing. Don’t get me wrong- I love this blog to death, and sometimes, I love the assignments that I write. But writing anything over 400-500 words drains my creative well. The quality worsens. I just... can’t explain it. I feel like a deflated balloon after 500 words. That’s why I don’t have any facebook notes over 500 words long (except for that Jack the Ripper thing which I copied from Wikipedia).

But my desire to write a novel is stronger than my desire to write a good novel right now. So I’m going to finish my novel (actually, it’d only be a novella, but whatever) by the end of November. It’s an interesting motivation to write, you know. Even if you don’t finish your work, it gives you a sense of achievement (I had tried last year. Couldn’t write past four thousand words, but it felt good to write those four thousand words). So, sign up for NaNoWriMo! Everyone could do with some writing practice! :D

Oh, and a happy new month! ^_^

Sorry?

So I was sitting in front of my very pretty purple laptop wondering what should my blog post be about. Then, an idea struck me. I just finished reading an amazing book my Sheila O’Flanagan called ‘Bad Behavior’. The book is about a lot of bad behaviors and broke friendships and lost love and all that. BUT, what caught my attention was a certain theme it carried.

Why is it that when any relationships end, we tend to focus on all the bad parts and never on any good ones? Why is it that we remember that person for the one very big wrong that they did and not for the good that they did. The little things they had done and the big gestures? Where do the memories of those go? Is it because we don’t want to remember they had some good in them? Is our hatred that big that it makes us forget the lovely times? I’m not only talking about couple relationships, but, all relationships in general. So, yeah, sometimes we do remember the good times. But there’s a such a long gap when those memories come back. And that gap is too big to make any amends. Why are us humans like that?

There are so many relationships that I messed up. Some of which, I’m genuinely sorry about and some I will never blame myself for nor worry about amends. But, then again. That saddens me. Am I such a person that I can’t even forgive another person. Depends on what happened, maybe? Sure, some mistakes are huge. But, we really can’t make them forget the good times, can we? In my little lifetime, that I’ve had till now, I’ve done so so so many mistakes. All of which I’m sorry for. Correction- almost all of which, I’m sorry for. Is this my apology? Maybe.