The Case of 'Damini'

There has been a lot of hype in my country about a recent rape case. Apparently, a girl got raped in a moving bus at 8:30 pm by 6 men. One of them was the bus driver, I think. They made her boyfriend watch her get raped. And she got raped very brutally. As in, they wrenched out her uterus and threw it on the road. She died.

The point of this blog is not to sympathize with the girl (although I do). This blog is about the reaction of the people, rape as a problem and possible solutions to it.

In a country like India, there are too many rapes to keep count of and most of them don't even get reported. This case struck out because it took place in the capital. If it had been in a village, no one would have even known about it, and they wouldn't have lined up in front of a  national monument to avenge the rural victim. I understand that this is because of the lack of awareness of the cases. If people were more aware of the rapes happening around them (especially in rural areas where violence is statistically higher), they'd protest more. But the fact is, stuff like this keeps happening. And the public doesn't even know half the cases. I'm outraged at the extreme reaction of the public to this case, when there are cases similar to this that keep happening in some corner of the country or the other. People have concentrated on this case so much that they don't see anything apart from the punishment for those 6 men. They don't realize that there are  6 million more like them in the country. In an attempt to get justice for the girl, they are ignoring the larger picture of the rapes that happen in the country. 

I would like to make myself clear- I do not, in any way, support the rapists. Having said that, I do think that the public is ridiculous in its demand to castrate/hang the rapists. What good will it do? How will the girl be at peace if her rapists were killed but there were many more roaming around, looking for victims like her?

Instead of thinking rashly, we must realize a few things. And on top of the list is a fact that RAPE IS NOT ABOUT GENDERED VIOLENCE. RAPE IS ABOUT DOMINANCE. I don't understand how anyone can think that people rape exclusively because they're sexually frustrated. That might be true for some deranged cases, but most of the time, raping someone is about feeling powerful. Violating someone gives the rapist a sense of power that might be missing from the rapist's real life. Why do you think most rapists belong to lower classes? They don't have power in their social, political and economic lives. So, they achieve a sense of power missing from their lives by raping people. And honestly,I don't exactly blame them. Who knows- if I was in their position, I might do the same. 

Let's not deceive ourselves here. All of us lust for power in one form or the other. All of us crave subjects to our power. It is actually visible in all kind of structures that exist. For example, your job. Being promoted gives you a sense of elation because you're moving up on the ladder. This means you have more subjects to control and exercise your power on. It makes you feel superior and it feeds your self esteem/ego. But we must think about the subjects too. What about the people who don't have this power in any aspect of their lives? Obviously, this lust for power then manifests in them sexually because they can't have it in any other aspect of their lives. And that's how rape comes into the picture.

Because rape is about power, it becomes a social problem rather than one of law and order. It's not exactly the State's fault if everyone's power hungry, is it? It's a problem that we as a society have to tackle. So, there are two ways we can go from here- not be power hungry or create opportunities so that every person can feel empowered in at least one of the non sexual aspects of their lives. I don't think the former is very likely, but we can brainstorm and try to make the latter possible. 

It won't matter if you get rapists hung or have them castrated or put them under surveillance. It's not going to make a change in the society. The time is past when people could be disciplined by example. We have evolved and none of the old methods of bringing about a change will work now. Unless we can actually see the bigger picture, we will continue to stick to the demands of hanging/castration and blaming the government. And I assure you- in the long run, all these accusations and demands will lead us nowhere. Hanging/castration are immediate and shallow solutions to a problem that is much bigger in nature. If we have to eradicate rape as a problem, we need to pull it out from its roots and not just trim it.

A Bittersweet Goodbye

Standing on my toes,

Eyes closed,

Touching your lips for the last time.

I hate to say goodbye to you.

I hate to let us walk away.

From the hello,

That I’ve known you.

To this good-bye

We have to say.

The hardest thing

I’ve ever done- 

Is being forced to walk different ways.

Drowning in tears,

Can’t see what’s ahead.

The dreams we knit were beautiful,

The reality begged to differ.

Promises were forced to break,

The tinkling eyes,

And the sad smile.

Holding hands-

Till the time we had.

Watching the train,

Pull in- to way.

Holding each other-

Tolling for the time we had.

Slowly his face disappears,

As he follows my train.

Will we meet again,

Will this waiting ever end?

Going to two different parts of life,

From sharing just one.

Will in the future,

Our lives, intervene?

Will the love rekindle-

And remember its glory?

Will the time bring me-

What was always mine?

Swati Jain

Of Apologies and Birthdays

Yeah. So, please don't kill us. I know it has been almost three weeks since our last post. Actually, this post was supposed to be by my best friend, but she's been pretty busy recently, so I get to make a post. And she has made me promise that no matter what, the blog has to be updated it once a week and I have to update it if she can't. So, yeah. Here I am. And we'r really sorry to keep you guys waiting. I can also promise you that there will be a post next week only because I'm anal enough to pre-write my blogs. This one's not pre-written, though. 

Today, I'd like to talk about one of my really good friend- Milica Smiljkovic. Her birthday was on 12th. I had wanted to write a fanfiction for her as a birthday present, but for some reason, that never really materialized (read procrastination and lack of ideas). So, I'm dedicating this post to her as a birthday present.

I met Milica for the first time on the facebook page called 'Peace.Love.Harry Potter'. There was a quiz going on and we were playing for our respective houses (she's a Hufflepuff and cookies to you if you can guess my house :P). She won, obviously. And I was awed by her quizzing skills. She was the first HP fandom friend I added on facebook.

We used to talk a lot. Thanks to her, I know a lot more about the world. I also remember dumping a lot of my issues on to her and she always gave me nice advice. I think of her as this badass person who can do anything she wants. But she also has this really sweet side. I think I've told her a lot of times that she'd fit in very well in Slytherin :P.

It's been close to about three years (?) since we've known each other and till now, she's the most awesome person I've met on facebook in HP fandom (Sorry Akash, Divya, Shirley, Lyndsey and others). So, for her birthday, I'd like to wish for prosperity, happiness and an interesting life for her (not that she doesn't have all these already, but still :P).

Milica, I know we don't talk much nowadays because of yours and my time constraints, but know that you'll always be very special to me :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Random Thoughts (again :P)

Hi guys! Er, sorry about that huge gap. November has been just so hectic. I mean, between studying for exams, reading fanfictions and sleeping, I’ve had to give up NaNowriMo. This always happens with me. I start a story and just when I’, starting to like what I have written, something or the other happens and I have to stop writing ._.

Also, until mid November, I was actually watching Criminal Minds. But then, I finished season 7. I’m really looking forward to season 8, which I hope is full of better criminals and crimes. But until the whole of season 8 comes out, I cannot watch it. Otherwise, I’d just hyperventilate from the release of one episode to the other. It happened to me in season 4 of Glee. Until, you know, Klaine broke up. Then I stopped watching it. But I restarted because they brought Sebastian back! I know Sebastian’s gorgeousness isn’t enough to make up for Klaine’s loss, but Sebastian’s gorgeousness along with his asshole-ness just might be enough ;)

Recently, I talked to this friend of mine (R) about my dating life (actually, the absence of it). And when I was moaning and whining about it to her, I realized the main problem. My life is stagnant. My social circles are not expanding. At all. If I don’t meet new people, how do I hope to get a date? But I’m just so painfully shy that one of my friends (N) mistook it for arrogance and snobbishness at the beginning of our acquaintance. R suggested that I go out clubbing and join poetry groups and stuff, but I’m too shy for poetry groups and I’m not into clubbing at all. So, what do you guys think I should do to get into the dating scene?

Anyway, I don’t have much to say right now because I’m only wandering back and forth from sleep to study and I haven’t witnessed anything interesting in a few days (except for my roommate watching Breaking Dawn part 2 twice- I don’t know how she could even stand it once but she’s a Twlight fan ._.), so I’ll sign off with these beautiful lines by Shakespeare that I came across in a fanfiction. Here it goes-

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

'The End'- Swati

Well. We're verrrrrrry sorry that we are a new blog and we have been absolutely inactive. But, we were both a little caught up with some personal matters of our own. Sorrry! To make up, here's a little poem I wrote recently. It's a sad one. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think in the comments!

I look at him with tear-filled eyes,

Shake my head and disagree.

This IS over,

I repeat to him and me.

Don’t do this, don’t stand here,

Just please leave, like you did, again.

Don’t give me anymore reasons,

Don’t keep making excuses, anymore.

This time, I decide,

And I decided that this is done.

I don’t want to let you fight

For another chance, that you might.

I don’t want you to be around,

To stick and to talk.

You talk about the old times,

Old memories, past kisses,

And the left behind.

I stand and listen,

Because, I remembered a different time.

I remembered waiting-

And lot of crying.

I remembered sitting there,

Telling my friends, weeping,

About what happened.

I remember everything,

Just I remember it different.

This IS the end,

I can’t keep doing this anymore,

This conversation, this argument-

Us, I can’t do it anymore, again.

I cannot sit there,

Thinking it’s all my wrong, again.

This is the end.

November 14, 2012

NaNoWriMo

So, it’s November. I’m actually quite sad about  it being November because I love October. October is the month where the temperature is just right. There’s no sun. A light breeze flows throughout the month. I could livein this weather forever. However, what would make it even better would be maple trees shedding red, yellow and mustard leaves which the wind would carry to me. But yeah. I live in India. We don't have maple trees. We don’t have autumn -.-

Anyway, it’s a new month. But November is not an ordinary month. It’s a month for the preparation of my exams, which are in December, by the way. It’s also the month for NaNoWriMo. I don’t know how many of you would know about it, but for all the dunderheads who don’t know about it, the full form of NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. Er, I don’t know which country’s national novel writing month it is, but people from all over the world participate in NaNoWriMo. And as you guessed it, November is the month to write a novel.

It’s actually a bad time for me to start a novel because I have three and a half seasons of Criminal Minds to go through. Also, my exams are coming up and I need to study. But it’s my last year as a literature student. And I don’t have a novel to my name. How embarrassing is that? So, I decided that no matter how horrible it turns out, I WILL write a novel. I’m already four thousand words into it. And because I’m writing thousand words per day (which is nothing short of a Herculean task), I hope to achieve thirty thousand words by the end of the month. If I succeed, this will be the longest thing I would have ever written.

Honestly, I don’t like writing. Don’t get me wrong- I love this blog to death, and sometimes, I love the assignments that I write. But writing anything over 400-500 words drains my creative well. The quality worsens. I just... can’t explain it. I feel like a deflated balloon after 500 words. That’s why I don’t have any facebook notes over 500 words long (except for that Jack the Ripper thing which I copied from Wikipedia).

But my desire to write a novel is stronger than my desire to write a good novel right now. So I’m going to finish my novel (actually, it’d only be a novella, but whatever) by the end of November. It’s an interesting motivation to write, you know. Even if you don’t finish your work, it gives you a sense of achievement (I had tried last year. Couldn’t write past four thousand words, but it felt good to write those four thousand words). So, sign up for NaNoWriMo! Everyone could do with some writing practice! :D

Oh, and a happy new month! ^_^

Sorry?

So I was sitting in front of my very pretty purple laptop wondering what should my blog post be about. Then, an idea struck me. I just finished reading an amazing book my Sheila O’Flanagan called ‘Bad Behavior’. The book is about a lot of bad behaviors and broke friendships and lost love and all that. BUT, what caught my attention was a certain theme it carried.

Why is it that when any relationships end, we tend to focus on all the bad parts and never on any good ones? Why is it that we remember that person for the one very big wrong that they did and not for the good that they did. The little things they had done and the big gestures? Where do the memories of those go? Is it because we don’t want to remember they had some good in them? Is our hatred that big that it makes us forget the lovely times? I’m not only talking about couple relationships, but, all relationships in general. So, yeah, sometimes we do remember the good times. But there’s a such a long gap when those memories come back. And that gap is too big to make any amends. Why are us humans like that?

There are so many relationships that I messed up. Some of which, I’m genuinely sorry about and some I will never blame myself for nor worry about amends. But, then again. That saddens me. Am I such a person that I can’t even forgive another person. Depends on what happened, maybe? Sure, some mistakes are huge. But, we really can’t make them forget the good times, can we? In my little lifetime, that I’ve had till now, I’ve done so so so many mistakes. All of which I’m sorry for. Correction- almost all of which, I’m sorry for. Is this my apology? Maybe.