A meme has been making rounds of Facebook recently, where in one panel, the girl is standing with a board that says, "India needs Feminism because I don't need to pay him to marry me", and in the other panel, the same girl is standing with a board that now reads, "I don't need to pay him to marry me. But I will not marry a guy who doesn't own a house, a 7 digit salary, and a car".
The reason this post is called accidental misogyny is because this meme is very easy to misinterpret. We all have those people (women, in particular) in our lives who are okay with arranged marriages if it ensures financial stability. So, we see the truth of the second panel completely, and the double standard between the first panel and the second panel is apparently hilarious, so we laugh and share it.
But people (particularly men) who are sharing this: India needs Feminism because it is not okay for your family and your intended and her family to expect you to be the only one who brings what constitute as financial luxuries to the marriage. You are also one of the people who are disenfranchised by patriarchy because along with forcing the woman to sell herself for a price, it also expects you to meet and maintain unnecessarily high standards throughout your life. Both parties are at a disadvantage here. She is not better off because you are rich: it is still not her money. If she's a sensible person, she'll value working for her own money than taking yours, or will at least contribute to the marriage in equal terms.
If you refuse to "buy" her and she brings as much financial stability to the table as you do, India will be a much better place and your marriage, a happier one. So, don't be an accidental misogynist and cynically believe that any woman would marry you if you are rich enough: a lot of women have been fighting for their right to work and their right for equal pay for a long time to settle for anything less than their own money.
The reason this post is called accidental misogyny is because this meme is very easy to misinterpret. We all have those people (women, in particular) in our lives who are okay with arranged marriages if it ensures financial stability. So, we see the truth of the second panel completely, and the double standard between the first panel and the second panel is apparently hilarious, so we laugh and share it.
But people (particularly men) who are sharing this: India needs Feminism because it is not okay for your family and your intended and her family to expect you to be the only one who brings what constitute as financial luxuries to the marriage. You are also one of the people who are disenfranchised by patriarchy because along with forcing the woman to sell herself for a price, it also expects you to meet and maintain unnecessarily high standards throughout your life. Both parties are at a disadvantage here. She is not better off because you are rich: it is still not her money. If she's a sensible person, she'll value working for her own money than taking yours, or will at least contribute to the marriage in equal terms.
If you refuse to "buy" her and she brings as much financial stability to the table as you do, India will be a much better place and your marriage, a happier one. So, don't be an accidental misogynist and cynically believe that any woman would marry you if you are rich enough: a lot of women have been fighting for their right to work and their right for equal pay for a long time to settle for anything less than their own money.
